Maximum RvB
by Some Call Me Tickler
Summary: Basically, Dylan says a few lines from RvB and this is how the flock reacts. No prior knowledge of RvB required. Rated T for language.
1. Bow Chicka Bow Wow

**A/N: Okay, so this fanfiction is post-Fang, so the ol' Fangalator isn't there, and Dylan goes all RvB quoting. Hopefully hilarious results. No prior knowledge of RvB required, but it may be useful.**

**(So basically, Dylan says a few lines from Red vs Blue)**

**DISCLAIMER: i'm not JP, and sadly, I don't own the awesomeness that is RvB. Roosterteeth owns that. But really. _Fan_fiction. _FAN_FICTION_!_**

1: Bow Chicka Bow Wow

"Aw c'mon Ig!" I exclaimed.

"Well.."

"Iggy!"

"Fine, but.."

"Just do it Ig!" I shouted, exasperated "Do it now!"

"Bow chicka bow wow" Dylan's voice came from the doorway.

"_Excuse_ me?" I turned to him

He just stood there.

"You're supposed to answer to that" I told him

"uh.."

I rolled my eyes.

"Ig, seriously, get back to work" I gestured to the broken laptop lying on the bench

"Right" he leaned down to start work.

Angel walked in then giggling

"What's funny Angel?" I asked her

"Dylan" she said between giggles

I sighed. "Do I want to know?" I asked her

"You'd probably hit him" she told me

"Then I'm all ears" I told her smiling

_Watch this _.com/watch?v=k5wfusuQKcs

Huh? She could send links with her mind?

That's new.

I sat down at the computer (the not-broken one) and typed in the link.

And I watched.

And Dylan did get hit.

**A/N: You may want to watch the video.**

**Thanks for reading!**


	2. Pick up line

**A/N: thanks for the reviews!**

**DISCLAIMER: Don't own nuffin.

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Max POV

I was day dreaming as I walked down the hall. Daydreaming so much, I almost walked into Dylan

"Sorry" I mumbled, trying to move to my room.

"Oh yeah, I was meaning to ask you something" Dylan told me.

"And that would be..." I asked him, curious.

"Uh, I'm not sure.."

"Just say it, you wuss"

"Max," Oh God

"I think you are pretty, and you haven't hurt my body in a long time, so I was wondering if we could be friends maybe, and we could talk and hold hands, and you could go with me. And when you went with me, you would be my real girlfriend"

"_What?_" I screeched

"I said, Max-"

"I heard you the first time" I told him "And there's one thing I want to rectify.." I punched him in the face.

"Now I _have_ hurt your body"

He hung his head sadly, and I almost felt sorry for him

_Almost._

Iggy turned the corner, laughing.

"Dude, that's _not_ how you pick up chicks" he told Dylan.

He just hung his head again.

"Nice punch, sounded good" Iggy wispered to me.

"You can't do these things halfway" I whispered back, grinning.

Angel rounded the corner then, looking sad.

"What's the matter Angel?" I asked

She just shook her head sadly.

_Angel.._ I thought at her

_Dylan was just thinking about Fang. It made me sad._

That stung me a bit, but I managed to think back

_What about Fang?_ I asked

_He was wondering how Fang managed to get you and why he can't. He wasn't thinking nice things._ She paused for a second._ What's a cock-biting fucktard?_

_Angel, you don't want to know._ I turned to Dylan and kicked him where it counts.

"Jerk!" I shouted, and stomped off into my room.

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**A/N: here's the link to the line in RvB w w w. y o u t u b /watch?v=22b_dnTBhgE (without the spaces, obviously)  
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**Any suggestions for other quotes/actions from RvB for Dylan to say? This is just going to be an ongoing thing, so suggestions would be awesome.**

**R&R?**


	3. Dibs

**A/N: Hello! Again, thanks for reviews!**

**DISCLAIMER: As I keep saying _FAN_FICTION**!

**Oh and also, I kinda got the Bacon reference of Phoenix Fanatic's Diary Of A Lovesick Mutant. Check it out. It's awesome

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Iggy POV

"I dibs..... All the bacon in the world" I said, smirking

"Fine I dibs" Gazzy paused for a second, thinking. Looks like I may have stumped him. "All the Kentucky Fried Chicken in the world" he finally said.

"What are you guys doing?" Dylan asked. I could hear him enter the room.

"We're playing 'Dibs'" Gazzy explained "You dibs everything you want, but you can't dibs something someone else has already done"

"Right" He said. It sounded like he was nodding.

"You're turn then" I said to him

"Okay. I dibs..... Max."

"What?" Gazzy and I exclaimed at the same time.

"Dibs. I just called dibs. She's my Max now. Dibs."

"You can't call dibs on a person!" I shouted

"Yeheha, yes I can. Dibs- see? I just did it again. Now stay the fuck away from my Max, tomato can."

"I don't think he gets the aim of the game.." Gazzy stage whispered, just as I shouted "Tomato can?"

"WHAT?" Max's yell came from the hall. She'd heard the whole thing.

This game was about to get _very_ interesting

"I, uh.." Dylan stammered. Probably holding on to false hope that he could salvage the situation. Poor guy.

"You called dibs on me? You DOUCHEBAG! You IMBECILE! You JERK!" she screeched.

Gazzy and I muffled our laughter. This was better than daytime television.

"Well Dylan?" Max asked in no-nonsense tone.

"I uh, think, I hear, uh, Nudge, uh, calling me I, uh, better go see what see wants"

I could hear Max put her hand on Dylan's shoulder as he turned to leave.

"Did you think you'd get away with it that easy?" she hissed.

Oh yeah. _Really_ interesting.

I don't think I'll describe what happened next. It involved a bit of screaming, begging for mercy etcetera, etcetera.

Nothing new really.

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**A/N: okay so here's the link in RvB. I don't own the video, or any of the other ones for that matter. http://w w w .y o u t u b e . c o m /watch?v=4NhU3HldMzM (not spaced)**

**R&R?**


	4. It's not pink!

**A/N: Another chapter! Yay! I won't be able to update for a little while, because I'll be away, but I'll try get some stuff down on paper to type up when I get back. But anyway, enjoy this one, and any suggestions for quotes from RvB to use, 'cause I'm running out of ideas.**

**Also, Iggy kinda quotes RvB in this one too.**

**DISCLAIMER: I never have, and I don't think I ever will own RvB/Roosterteeth or MR so yeah...**

It's not pink.

Max POV

I muffled a laugh as I walked into the kitchen, watching as Iggy tapped Dylan on the shoulder, the bursting out laughing.

"What?" Dylan asked, looking a little shocked.

"You're wearing pink!" Iggy almost shouted, and I could hear everyone in the house laugh (Even Akila, if that's possible)

"It's not pink!" Dylan sounded offended "It's lightish red!"

And of course, that brought a whole new wave of laughter.

"I know pink when I touch it" Iggy told him between laughs

"And I know pink when I see it" I told him, laughing as well

"It's lightish red!"

"Guess what? They already have a color for lightish-red. You know what it's called? Pink!" Iggy said

I sighed "Shall I go and get Nudge?" I asked

"N-" Dylan started

"Too late" Nudge burst into the room, obviously trying to conceal laughter. She stared at Dylan's outfit and burst out laughing

"Pink isn't really your colour" she said "Points for being abnormal though"

"I'm telling you, It's lightish red!"

"And by lightish red you mean pink, right?" I asked him, snickering

"No. By lightish red, I _mean_ lightish red!"

I rolled my eyes

"There's no hope" I stage whispered to Iggy

**A/N: here's the first scene this is in red vs blue, but it becomes an ongoing joke. w w w . y o u t u b e . c o m /watch?v=hgi_YPxE5Kk**

**Sorry it's so short.**

**R & R?**


	5. Invisible Magic

**A/N: Sorry! It's been ages since I updated, I know. I just got a couple of ideas for more of these, but I'm running out, anyone who watches RvB please give me some suggestions!**

**Also: New season of RvB! It's called revelations. It's awesome.**

**DISCLAIMER: Me own nothing**

**Caboose:I do not understad.**

**Me: Oh yeah, this is Caboose. He's the weird idiot from RvB. In case you didn't know him.**

**Caboose: I did not even know the North Pole was in _San Francisco_... this changes everything! **

**Me: Shut up Caboose

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Invisible Magic

Max POV

I watched as the lights flickered and dimmed, then turning off.

"Crap," I murmured

"Power's out!" Gazzy yelled

"No, really? Are you sure?" I shouted back at him sarcastically.

"Oh. My. God. What happened to the lights!" Dylan yelled

"Here we go again," I murmured, walking over to Dylan.

"It's a power cut," I told him, keeping a straight face.

"Power?" he cocked his head to the side.

I laughed at him, nothing like watching an idiot act like an idiot

"The lights. Electricity," he still looked puzzled.

"The stuff that makes the TV turn on," I tried again.

"Oh. You mean the invisible magic."

"What?" I asked, laughing. Didn't they teach him _anything _in Canada?

"The invisible magic. You know, the one where you turn the lights on at the switch and the light magically appears," he explained.

I sighed. And they said he was supposed to be my perfect other half.

I heard Ciggy trying to explain what 'Invisible magic' really was, but he was laughing too hard to get any understandable words out.

Just then, the lights flicked back on, and I could hear Gazzy whooping with joy – he'd been in the middle of a computer game.

"The invisible magic has prevailed!" Dylan shouted, and I almost smashed my palm into my forehead. Almost. But I came up with the next best thing.

I walked back over to Dylan and slapped him across the head. Why inflict pain on myself when there was a perfectly good punching bag right there?

"Ow! What was that for?" Dylan shouted.

"That was me knocking some sense into you," I replied smoothly, then I burst out laughing at his expression.

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**A/N: Sorry it's sort. I couldn't think of anything else to put in there. No link this time, but I'm pretty sure the quote is from Recreation, not sure what episode.**

**Caboose: It was me! I said that!**

**Me: yeah, we get it Caboose.**

**Also, sorry I haven't updated in ages! And any ideas for me to use would be appreciated!**


	6. Ideas

**A/N: Whoa. It's been ages since I updated this. The other day I re-watched Reconstruction so I got a few quotes to use from that. So hopefully more updates in the future.**

**Church: When you stop being lazy.**

**Me: Well, yeah. Church is from RvB aswell. He's awesome.**

**Church: Fuck yeah!**

**Me: And he swears a lot.**

**Caboose: CHURCH! The buddy club unites!**

**Church: -pulls out sniper rifle- Right between the eyes... -shoots and misses- GODDAMMIT!**

**Me: yeah, I'll just start this before Church gets really mad...**

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own the awesomeness that is RvB and Maximum Ride. Although I am thankful I don't own Dylan...

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Angel POV

"Total!" I called, walking into the living room. Total seemed to be the only member of the flock who wasn't depressed. Well him and Dylan anyway. Of course, I was sad too, but hearing their thoughts as well... It was almost unbearable.

"Hey, Angel," Total said. "Have you tried Iggy's blackberry wine cake yet?"

"Uh, no. And wouldn't I be too young?" I said jokingly.

"Since when did you become a law-abiding citizen?" he shot back, smiling as much as a dog could (which was a surprisingly big smile)

"Never," I grinned. "Where'd he put it?"

"It's still on the counter I believe," he told me.

I skipped to the kitchen, and you would think nothing was wrong in my life.

Well, if you thought that, you would be wrong.

Because I walked in on an empty plate with crumbs on it and a sheepish looking Dylan.

I glared at him, alternating glances between him and the plate.

"Uh... The cake is a lie?" He offered, but I just shook my head.

Iggy walked in then, "Whoa! Who ate all the cake?" he asked.

I just glared at Dylan more, lifting a finger towards him.

"All of it? Dude, you must be, like, drunk!" Iggy exclaimed.

"It had that much wine in it? No wonder Total enjoyed it so much," I said, just as Dylan said

"Psshhh, I'm fine," and tripped head over heels.

"If by fine you mean making out with the ground then yeah, you're just _fine_," Iggy said sarcastially.

_Uh, what? Not... Drunk... Ooooh! Shiny!_ He thought.

"Yeah, he's drunk," I said, giggling.

"What? Who's drunk?" Max's voice sounded from down the hall as she made her way here. As soon as she saw Dylan on the ground she cracked up laughing.

"So, where's the cake?" She asked Iggy.

"Down there," he pointed at Dylan, who was giggling – and when I say giggling I mean _giggling –_ and looking up towards the lights.

"Man, he's going to have a horrible hangover in the morning," Max said, shaking her head in pity.

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**THE NEXT DAY...**

We were all sitting around the table, supposedly in a 'meeting' Max had said it was important, but I didn't really think so.

"So any ideas?" she asked.

"Uh, I have one," Dylan said. _Get me some panadol or something._

"Hmm... Should we trust the drunk?" She asked.

"I dunno. Dylan? An idea? I think he's bluffing," Iggy decided.

"Hey!" Dylan protested weakly. "Ugh. Just get me a panadol or something."

"Go get it yourself," She told him. "I'm in a meeting."

_I've always wanted to say that_ she thought.

Dylan almost fell out of his seat and ran out of the room.

"Uh, Max?" Gazzy aked.

"Yeah?"

"What do you need ideas for?"

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**A/N: So yeah. The quote is from Church and it actually goes: "I dunno. Caboose? An idea? I think he's bluffing"**

**Church: I swear, if you try and hug me _one_ more time Caboose.**

**Me: Oh, shut up. Just shoot him with your sniper rifle.**

**Church: Yeah... turns out that doesn't work so well.**

**Caboose: He did not hit me!**

**Me: Yeah, yeah. Hey, one of you tell them to review.**

**Caboose: I will say the magic word! -pause- What's the magic word.**

**Me: -sighs- Review.**

**Caboose: Review!**


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